Being a mom is never easy. Being a mom of littles is definitely not easy. Being a mom of many littles can be downright exhausting. So here is to all the tired moms out there just so you know that you are not alone.
I am in the midst of raising 7 children ages 12, 8, 5, 4, 2, 1, and just a week shy of 10 months. Today, I want to crawl back in the bed, cover my head, and make today go away. Today, I don’t feel like being a mom. Today, I want to be selfish and wallow in my bad mood. I want to hate the world with a vengeance and question God as to what his crazy plan is and why he thinks I am capable of this path. Today, I want to pee by myself and maybe even take a shower. I want to drink a cup of coffee completely alone and not share a drop. I want to fix myself something to eat without having to then go through the process of fixing food for additional mouths which puts me in the kitchen for what feels like forever.
Today, I just want to be me.
And do you know why that is ok? That is ok because I am human. Albeit, a selfish human.
But instead, I get out of bed. I say a prayer, plaster on a fake smile, and go through the morning rush to get the kids to school on time. I run the taxi. I turn on some music and dance with the kids because they want me to. Today, I admit to God that I do not understand his plan but I will trust his heart, because his plan is bigger than me. Today, I will pee with an audience while I answer questions and listen to stories and remind little ones to be kind again. I will share my coffee, my food, and my personal space. I will spend hours in the kitchen today. I will repeat the same warnings and give correction when needed. I will listen to constant crying, giggling, screaming, playing…and just plain noise.
…and today, I will remind myself repeatedly that there will come a day that I will miss the crying and the fighting and the constant noise because all of that means they are here. I will remind myself what a blessing it is to have children (and so many of them!) and what it means to truly be needed. I will remind myself of all those men and women out there with empty arms.
and then… I will let go of the mommy guilt. I will recognize that I am exhausted from many sleepless nights, the stress of what is our crazy busy lives, and the endless pile of laundry. I will recognize that I am in dire need of a little break and that it is ok because when my tank is empty, it is impossible to fill the tanks of others. I will remember that it is ok to admit to the world that I am tired because it does not make me a bad mom, it just makes me honest. I will hold on to the fact that today is just a bad day and we all have them.
So, to the tired mommy… remember, you are not alone. I am right here with you.